Finding that joy isn't always easy. The roller coaster of life has lots of ups and downs. You can't know joy without also knowing sorrow.
These last few weeks haven't been terrible but sadly the norm. How many of us go through day to day life and end up completely depleted at the end of the day?
I've certainly been there lately. I feel like all I can focus on is the fact that I feel like crap and I haven't gotten enough sleep. I rarely have a moment to be thankful for all my blessings, I snap at the people I love most and I seem to be perpetually frustrated.
These seem to be the most trying times in testing our ability to find joy. So today I was thinking about ways I could stop feeling so stressed out and exhausted and this is what I came up with:
Do one thing at a time.
I don't know about you but completing tasks makes me feel better. If I can just start with the simplest thing and work toward the more complex things, I feel better just getting things done.
Learn to say no.
This year especially has been very stressful, with a full time job, part time job, night class and a 2 year old I don't have time to mess around. Making commitments to myself and my family and having a clear schedule is helpful. In addition, just saying NO. I decided at the beginning of the year that I wasn't going to take papers home to grade. This is a tough task and I have to get to school early and work through my lunch to make it happen but it is worth it to spend quality time with Rachel. My students didn't really mind waiting a week or so to get their work back and I feel good knowing I don't have to do one more thing at home.
Make your time, quality time.
The past couple of weeks have been humbling. It usually takes a 2 year old to give you the right perspective. Although we don't have much time, I have really tried to make time with my family as loving and fun as possible. Turn off the TV and dance around! Finger painting and making brownies really is the best way to spend a day. Having a whole week off for spring break was great because it reminded me of the wonderful simple joys in life. Like getting your hands all covered in paint, laughing until your sides hurt, and singing the silliest songs at the top of your lungs.
Do something spiritual. (or at least intellectual)
Maybe you aren't a spiritual or religious person, but I find that I feel refreshed and emotionally refilled when I do spiritual things. No one is perfect, myself included. I'm not trying to pretend that I am "holier than thou" but I heard some wonderful speeches and watched a great video on the web that really helped me realize how lucky I am. I have also been reading a great book called "Justice" by Michael Sandel. It may sound nerdy but I was reading it to Rachel last night and she was loving the discussion on Utilitarianism and Libertarianism.
Say "I love you"
Often those closest to us are the ones we take for granted. This morning I was mad at myself for not getting up early and I just took out my frustration at those I love most . Saying "I Love you" requires you to consider how much those around you mean to you. Plus if you say it to someone, they will likely say it back. The best thing is when that little 2 year old looks up at you with big brown eyes and says "I love you, you too" Or "Mommy I will love you so much." As immature as her grammar is, the sentiment is the best of all.
Count your blessings.
Actively listing the things in your life that are good and that you are grateful for really does help bring it into perspective. Also just being still and meditating and having a moment of peace to yourself will allow you to be calm and de-stress.
When we get overwhelmed these are the times we most need perspective. I try to laugh a little or just let things go. This is easier said than done. It takes years of practice and I doubt I will ever truly master this. However, I find myself at work often letting things roll off. Working with high school students really builds up your tolerance of handling criticism. Don't take things so personal.
I took a course called "Teaching with Love and Logic" my first year of teaching and this was a wonderful course that teaches you how to put responsibility back on the person it belongs. Stop trying to carry around the baggage of those around you.
"Parenting with Love and Logic" teaches the same skills for parents and children. Help children understand that their actions have consequences and they can have positive or negative consequences.
Taking in the beauty around you even for a moment can really change your whole day. I love riding in the car in the morning when the sun is coming up. I am NOT a morning person and I am usually trying to sneak that extra 3 minutes of sleep. This results in my lack of time management and usually running late, so I often start out the day in a bad mood. Just the simple joy of feeling the warm sun on my face can turn that all around.
Life isn't going to suddenly get better one day. We are always going to be working on that balance of busy schedules, family, friends etc. We can choose to approach life in a negative cynical manner or we can attempt to identify the glaring wonders around us every day. If we work on overcoming our shortsightedness and try to see the bigger picture, this may allow us to handle adversity better and feel happier.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Life and Life
Death always brings an analysis of life. Since my grandma passed away there seems to be that looming feeling of mortality, and more recently the death of an uncle reinforces that idea. So I find myself contemplating my own existence. But more than that, examining my purpose and affect on this world.
Lately I've been teaching my students about self perception and intrapersonal communication.
Self discovery is an important part of good communication. I too have been doing some self analysis these days.
In my business class I've been learning about self improvement and inspiration and its incredible how life keeps repeating things you need to hear.
Self analysis is not always easy but it is really important. How we perceive ourselves affects the way we perceive others. If we have an accurate self concept then we are more likely to perceive others accurately and the messages they communicate to us.
So improving our lives has to come from within. So often we rationalize, blame or deflect onto others but the real issue is all our own.
In my massage therapy business class we started learning about how to set up our business plan and we watched "The Secret" I'm as skeptical as anyone and at first I was the dissenting voice. But I discovered some interesting ideas that really reinforced and inspired some concepts I had contemplated in the past.
Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world."
The main concepts discussed in The Secret are to visualize what you want, imagine you already have it and experience the feeling of already achieving that which you want in the world.
Although I'm not sure I believe in the Law of Attraction in the manner they describe it, I can say that positive thoughts really do have a significant impact on your life.
Many philosophers have written on how perception is reality and if we perceive things one way or another we really can choose happiness in the world, and in many ways get "the Universe to shape itself to our desire."
I've always believed I attract good people into my life. I'm not sure that is solely due to positive thinking as the Secret suggests but I do agree that positive thoughts are more powerful than negative thoughts. I also agree that emotions help monitor our thoughts. And the key to The Secret is feeling the positive things you are thinking and then visualize them coming to you.
So the goal is to feel positive, not just think positively like we've been told since a very young age, but FEEL positive.
This is much easier said than done.
I tell my students "Fake it till you make it" This too was suggested in The Secret. Find something, anything to feel positive about and it can shift your whole worldview, which can in turn shift your perspective, your experience and then likely those good things you want will come to you.
Find your happy thought.
Ask for what you want but do more than that-"generate the feelings of having it now"
I am the queen of second guessing and over thinking, so it becomes even more important to be self aware, visualize, and "put yourself in a feeling place"
I am a religious person and one of my favorite scriptures is "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."
From the first time I read this I felt that this was the answer to life's oldest questions. Why are we here?
I believe it is to find that Joy. True Joy, the kind that makes your eyes well up with happy tears when your baby smiles at you for the first time. The feeling of satisfaction when you complete a huge task or overcome an obstacle. When you find your passion in life.
The Secret is not just about feeling good for the moment but about finding that real kind of Joy.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy, or we can be our best friend. I have to start being more honest with myself. I have to have True Faith and work on feeling positive.
If I want to overcome my obstacles I have to change my perception. Once we get into a rut or a pattern of behavior it is difficult to stop and change directions, so I guess the next step is figuring out how to go in reverse. How do you communicate with those around you your change of thought, behavior or feelings without hurting anyone?
Think-No Feel Positive! And all the rest will fall into place. Those who care will be there to support you in your journey of Finding Joy!
Lately I've been teaching my students about self perception and intrapersonal communication.
Self discovery is an important part of good communication. I too have been doing some self analysis these days.
In my business class I've been learning about self improvement and inspiration and its incredible how life keeps repeating things you need to hear.
Self analysis is not always easy but it is really important. How we perceive ourselves affects the way we perceive others. If we have an accurate self concept then we are more likely to perceive others accurately and the messages they communicate to us.
So improving our lives has to come from within. So often we rationalize, blame or deflect onto others but the real issue is all our own.
In my massage therapy business class we started learning about how to set up our business plan and we watched "The Secret" I'm as skeptical as anyone and at first I was the dissenting voice. But I discovered some interesting ideas that really reinforced and inspired some concepts I had contemplated in the past.
Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world."
The main concepts discussed in The Secret are to visualize what you want, imagine you already have it and experience the feeling of already achieving that which you want in the world.
Although I'm not sure I believe in the Law of Attraction in the manner they describe it, I can say that positive thoughts really do have a significant impact on your life.
Many philosophers have written on how perception is reality and if we perceive things one way or another we really can choose happiness in the world, and in many ways get "the Universe to shape itself to our desire."
I've always believed I attract good people into my life. I'm not sure that is solely due to positive thinking as the Secret suggests but I do agree that positive thoughts are more powerful than negative thoughts. I also agree that emotions help monitor our thoughts. And the key to The Secret is feeling the positive things you are thinking and then visualize them coming to you.
So the goal is to feel positive, not just think positively like we've been told since a very young age, but FEEL positive.
This is much easier said than done.
I tell my students "Fake it till you make it" This too was suggested in The Secret. Find something, anything to feel positive about and it can shift your whole worldview, which can in turn shift your perspective, your experience and then likely those good things you want will come to you.
Find your happy thought.
Ask for what you want but do more than that-"generate the feelings of having it now"
I am the queen of second guessing and over thinking, so it becomes even more important to be self aware, visualize, and "put yourself in a feeling place"
I am a religious person and one of my favorite scriptures is "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."
From the first time I read this I felt that this was the answer to life's oldest questions. Why are we here?
I believe it is to find that Joy. True Joy, the kind that makes your eyes well up with happy tears when your baby smiles at you for the first time. The feeling of satisfaction when you complete a huge task or overcome an obstacle. When you find your passion in life.
The Secret is not just about feeling good for the moment but about finding that real kind of Joy.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy, or we can be our best friend. I have to start being more honest with myself. I have to have True Faith and work on feeling positive.
If I want to overcome my obstacles I have to change my perception. Once we get into a rut or a pattern of behavior it is difficult to stop and change directions, so I guess the next step is figuring out how to go in reverse. How do you communicate with those around you your change of thought, behavior or feelings without hurting anyone?
Think-No Feel Positive! And all the rest will fall into place. Those who care will be there to support you in your journey of Finding Joy!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Good morning Sunshine.
Getting out of bed in the morning has always been a challenge for me. I've just never been a morning person. It's interesting though that whenever you have something important going on you can get up at 4am and feel totally refreshed. One of the things that really makes my day when I feel like crawling back under the covers is the smile on Rachel's face when she wakes up. I don't know how I conceived a morning person but she has those great days when she smiles and kisses me and says "it's time to get up mommy. I will help you" then she dramatically pulls my arm and urges me out of bed.
Kids are traditionally a source of joy and happiness. It is what drives us to have families. But even those without little ones can find those moments of inspiration that really get you going each day.
One of the great things about living in Idaho is the weather. Well some might not see it as great but there is something calming and peacful about a morning sprinkle of snow or the sound of a light spring rain. The kind that when you step outside you breathe in with your whole body because its more than just the smell, its a whole body sensation. And of course that first sunrise when spring is finally starting to seem like a reality instead of just some far off dream. I love the feeling of warm sun on my face and even though I wince, I also kind of like that bright ray that gets you right in the eye through the blinds.
I've always tried to show my gratitude for those small wonders. My heart swells at the knowledge that I am able to see the beauty around me and start out each day, my way.
Who doesn't love a snow day? That has been a treasure since childhood. I could get up at 6am and be completely dressed and headed out the door and get that call! It's almost like Christmas day. You feel a little like a kid who just got away with something. You race yourself back in bed, jump under the covers and cuddle up to a good book or let your head fall back onto the pillow for the most blissful hours of sleep. My favorite is making a big breakfast and just being completely lazy in my PJs.
So I was thinking, how can I capture the wonderful feelings of those little moments of happiness and apply them to my everyday. How do I change my experience so that I can feel just as refreshed at 630am on a regular day as I do at 4am on a special day? People have said for years that we choose to be happy. We choose whether to wake up refreshed and ready to face the day or to slowly peel ourselves off the bed and slomp through the room making our way to the bathroom much like we were stuck in a swamp.
So I did a little exercise, thanks to one of my teachers, about goal setting and visualizing. It was basically the equivalent of finding your happy thought. Now at first, I believed the average person would choose their kid as their happy thought, right? Well while I have 2 and a half years of amazing glimpses of happiness by observing my daughter, I found that maybe she wasn't my initial happy thought. Wow, I must be a terrible person- I thought. But I did a little self discovery and decided my happy thought is my grandma.
My grandma passed away Sept of last year (2010) and in many wonderful ways my daughter is just like her. She loved life with such joy and gratitude. She loved people and music, dancing and sports. Rooms lit up when she walked in and she just loved everyone. Spending time in South Carolina left the best southern accent and she always knew exactly what to say. I love thinking about her dancing with Rachel to some Elvis.
So my happy thought is made up of two of the best girls I know and it nearly bring tears to my eyes. You know the kind when you feel like you've just witnessed a miracle?
So that's what I've done the past few days. And I feel like its made a significant difference in my attitude. With 150 kids in my classes the first few days of the new term at school have been exhausting. Plus with all the issues surrounding education its a little hard to go to work every day. But even with multitasking night class, State debate, nationals, europe trip, family etc. Today was actually really good. Getting up was a lot easier and using my little happy thought just put me in a better disposition. I'll probably only get 3-4 hours of sleep tonight and I'm not really that worried because I have a little faith that my new trick is going to work. I encourage you to give it a try.
Sometimes a little gratitude is all you need to change your attitude. :)
Here's hoping to a good attitude and more things to be grateful for.
Kids are traditionally a source of joy and happiness. It is what drives us to have families. But even those without little ones can find those moments of inspiration that really get you going each day.
One of the great things about living in Idaho is the weather. Well some might not see it as great but there is something calming and peacful about a morning sprinkle of snow or the sound of a light spring rain. The kind that when you step outside you breathe in with your whole body because its more than just the smell, its a whole body sensation. And of course that first sunrise when spring is finally starting to seem like a reality instead of just some far off dream. I love the feeling of warm sun on my face and even though I wince, I also kind of like that bright ray that gets you right in the eye through the blinds.
I've always tried to show my gratitude for those small wonders. My heart swells at the knowledge that I am able to see the beauty around me and start out each day, my way.
Who doesn't love a snow day? That has been a treasure since childhood. I could get up at 6am and be completely dressed and headed out the door and get that call! It's almost like Christmas day. You feel a little like a kid who just got away with something. You race yourself back in bed, jump under the covers and cuddle up to a good book or let your head fall back onto the pillow for the most blissful hours of sleep. My favorite is making a big breakfast and just being completely lazy in my PJs.
So I was thinking, how can I capture the wonderful feelings of those little moments of happiness and apply them to my everyday. How do I change my experience so that I can feel just as refreshed at 630am on a regular day as I do at 4am on a special day? People have said for years that we choose to be happy. We choose whether to wake up refreshed and ready to face the day or to slowly peel ourselves off the bed and slomp through the room making our way to the bathroom much like we were stuck in a swamp.
So I did a little exercise, thanks to one of my teachers, about goal setting and visualizing. It was basically the equivalent of finding your happy thought. Now at first, I believed the average person would choose their kid as their happy thought, right? Well while I have 2 and a half years of amazing glimpses of happiness by observing my daughter, I found that maybe she wasn't my initial happy thought. Wow, I must be a terrible person- I thought. But I did a little self discovery and decided my happy thought is my grandma.
My grandma passed away Sept of last year (2010) and in many wonderful ways my daughter is just like her. She loved life with such joy and gratitude. She loved people and music, dancing and sports. Rooms lit up when she walked in and she just loved everyone. Spending time in South Carolina left the best southern accent and she always knew exactly what to say. I love thinking about her dancing with Rachel to some Elvis.
So my happy thought is made up of two of the best girls I know and it nearly bring tears to my eyes. You know the kind when you feel like you've just witnessed a miracle?
So that's what I've done the past few days. And I feel like its made a significant difference in my attitude. With 150 kids in my classes the first few days of the new term at school have been exhausting. Plus with all the issues surrounding education its a little hard to go to work every day. But even with multitasking night class, State debate, nationals, europe trip, family etc. Today was actually really good. Getting up was a lot easier and using my little happy thought just put me in a better disposition. I'll probably only get 3-4 hours of sleep tonight and I'm not really that worried because I have a little faith that my new trick is going to work. I encourage you to give it a try.
Sometimes a little gratitude is all you need to change your attitude. :)
Here's hoping to a good attitude and more things to be grateful for.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Getting Inspired
It's always been truly amazing to me how things come about in this existence. I have been blessed to have good people in my life and this is proof that those around us are inspiring. I never thought I'd start a blog. I wasn't sure what I'd say, or who might be interested enough to read it. I still don't But I do know that great things often come when you can't see what lies ahead.
Beginning this blog is my way of putting out into the world wonderful things. To build connections, to realize dreams and opportunities and to discover what it means to truly have Joy. The journey has just begun. I know there will be ups and downs as there have been in the past but you have to fulfill your potential at some point.
Come with me on my journey and maybe together we will discover something truly amazing!
Beginning this blog is my way of putting out into the world wonderful things. To build connections, to realize dreams and opportunities and to discover what it means to truly have Joy. The journey has just begun. I know there will be ups and downs as there have been in the past but you have to fulfill your potential at some point.
Come with me on my journey and maybe together we will discover something truly amazing!
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