Finding that joy isn't always easy. The roller coaster of life has lots of ups and downs. You can't know joy without also knowing sorrow.
These last few weeks haven't been terrible but sadly the norm. How many of us go through day to day life and end up completely depleted at the end of the day?
I've certainly been there lately. I feel like all I can focus on is the fact that I feel like crap and I haven't gotten enough sleep. I rarely have a moment to be thankful for all my blessings, I snap at the people I love most and I seem to be perpetually frustrated.
These seem to be the most trying times in testing our ability to find joy. So today I was thinking about ways I could stop feeling so stressed out and exhausted and this is what I came up with:
Do one thing at a time.
I don't know about you but completing tasks makes me feel better. If I can just start with the simplest thing and work toward the more complex things, I feel better just getting things done.
Learn to say no.
This year especially has been very stressful, with a full time job, part time job, night class and a 2 year old I don't have time to mess around. Making commitments to myself and my family and having a clear schedule is helpful. In addition, just saying NO. I decided at the beginning of the year that I wasn't going to take papers home to grade. This is a tough task and I have to get to school early and work through my lunch to make it happen but it is worth it to spend quality time with Rachel. My students didn't really mind waiting a week or so to get their work back and I feel good knowing I don't have to do one more thing at home.
Make your time, quality time.
The past couple of weeks have been humbling. It usually takes a 2 year old to give you the right perspective. Although we don't have much time, I have really tried to make time with my family as loving and fun as possible. Turn off the TV and dance around! Finger painting and making brownies really is the best way to spend a day. Having a whole week off for spring break was great because it reminded me of the wonderful simple joys in life. Like getting your hands all covered in paint, laughing until your sides hurt, and singing the silliest songs at the top of your lungs.
Do something spiritual. (or at least intellectual)
Maybe you aren't a spiritual or religious person, but I find that I feel refreshed and emotionally refilled when I do spiritual things. No one is perfect, myself included. I'm not trying to pretend that I am "holier than thou" but I heard some wonderful speeches and watched a great video on the web that really helped me realize how lucky I am. I have also been reading a great book called "Justice" by Michael Sandel. It may sound nerdy but I was reading it to Rachel last night and she was loving the discussion on Utilitarianism and Libertarianism.
Say "I love you"
Often those closest to us are the ones we take for granted. This morning I was mad at myself for not getting up early and I just took out my frustration at those I love most . Saying "I Love you" requires you to consider how much those around you mean to you. Plus if you say it to someone, they will likely say it back. The best thing is when that little 2 year old looks up at you with big brown eyes and says "I love you, you too" Or "Mommy I will love you so much." As immature as her grammar is, the sentiment is the best of all.
Count your blessings.
Actively listing the things in your life that are good and that you are grateful for really does help bring it into perspective. Also just being still and meditating and having a moment of peace to yourself will allow you to be calm and de-stress.
When we get overwhelmed these are the times we most need perspective. I try to laugh a little or just let things go. This is easier said than done. It takes years of practice and I doubt I will ever truly master this. However, I find myself at work often letting things roll off. Working with high school students really builds up your tolerance of handling criticism. Don't take things so personal.
I took a course called "Teaching with Love and Logic" my first year of teaching and this was a wonderful course that teaches you how to put responsibility back on the person it belongs. Stop trying to carry around the baggage of those around you.
"Parenting with Love and Logic" teaches the same skills for parents and children. Help children understand that their actions have consequences and they can have positive or negative consequences.
Taking in the beauty around you even for a moment can really change your whole day. I love riding in the car in the morning when the sun is coming up. I am NOT a morning person and I am usually trying to sneak that extra 3 minutes of sleep. This results in my lack of time management and usually running late, so I often start out the day in a bad mood. Just the simple joy of feeling the warm sun on my face can turn that all around.
Life isn't going to suddenly get better one day. We are always going to be working on that balance of busy schedules, family, friends etc. We can choose to approach life in a negative cynical manner or we can attempt to identify the glaring wonders around us every day. If we work on overcoming our shortsightedness and try to see the bigger picture, this may allow us to handle adversity better and feel happier.
