It really sucks to be stuck in a rut. Whether emotional, financial or otherwise, there are very few things worse than feeling like you aren't going anywhere. We wallow in self pity and wonder how we are ever going to get out of our pit of despair. Maybe someone comes along and pulls you out, or perhaps you get up the strength to claw your way out. No matter how you do it, you feel rather accomplished when it's all said and done. But what got us there in the first place? How do we keep from falling in again? What if we get sucked in by someone else!? These are questions that often roll through my head and it got me thinking about my own gutters and ruts.
Once upon a time when I thought I knew everything about the world, I started asking myself these tough questions. I listened to the advise of those older and wiser than I and I set a goal to improve myself. This past year was tough in many ways but when a loved one suffers from depression it can be unlike any other challenge. I started thinking more about how to cope in healthy ways with the stress of life and work and I began learning some important lessons along the way.
We've all been stuck in a rut from time to time and I remember various stages of my life that felt like I was not progressing. Looking back I think that part of the reason I got stuck is because I lost my perspective, lost my drive or motivation, or I allowed negative things to pull me down. Having too much negative energy in your life is extremely destructive and it took me a great deal of time to learn how to eliminate that negativity.
The first thing I had to do was stop taking things so personal. So often we get offended by others around us, but usually there is no good reason to be offended. It's just our excuse to be mad about something. Letting things roll off your back is a tough but important lesson. Try telling yourself that you don't need negativity in your life and try to see the good in those around you. Not everything is a personal attack and when we take offense to something it only hurts us. Of course stand up for yourself if someone is intentionally hurting you, but don't play on their field.
Another important thing I had to do was stop assuming. Often we get upset over things that never even occurred simply because we assume. I had the opportunity to listen to a great speaker earlier this year Marc Elliot, author of "What Makes You Tic?" And he said, "Live and let live" Live your life and let others live theirs, and stop judging yourself based on what you assume others are thinking. Or rather as my husband says, make the best choice you can based on the information you have at the moment. Additionally, don't dwell on the past because we can only affect the present and future. Don't cling to things that bring you down or that don't have any real significance in your life.
There are many reasons we might get in a rut, career, family, friends, finances etc. But they all lead to the core problem stress. Stress is a huge factor in our poor health and all of these things can become major stressors in our lives if we don't find and use healthy coping strategies. I find that so many people I know, don't know what healthy coping strategies are, and for a long time, I didn't either. Some of the best things your can do are sometimes the simplest. Things like eating healthy and getting enough sleep are key to keeping your physical body at its maximum stress fighting potential. Another super important one is learn to say "no". This was also a hard lesson for me to learn but I am so glad I did. You can't do everything. No seriously...I know you are thinking that you HAVE to do everything or it won't get done, but trust me saying no to even just a few things will actually allow you to prioritize and have a better grasp on things so that you can be even more effective.
Other great coping strategies include, yoga, meditation, massage or even just taking a hot bath. Things that relax our physical body will also relax our minds. It's important that you focus on the whole person and not just one part. Surround yourself with people you enjoy and avoid people who make you feel stressed out. De-clutter your home and turn off your TV and electronics when you feel overwhelmed. Express your feelings, either to a trusted friend or confidante or on paper in a journal or blog. Journaling is a fantastic way to track your progress and really get your thoughts out without being interrupted.
Adjusting your perspective and viewing the big picture is a great way to re-frame. Focus on the positive and set realistic goals for yourself. So often people are consumed by perfection. Don't set yourself up for failure by setting unrealistic goals. If you have lofty goals break them down in to smaller more achievable goals so that you can see your progress along the way.
There are so many great ways to unwind and focus but you have to make it a priority. Choose to come out of your rut and choose to improve your well being. Take just 2 minutes each day to de stress. Go for a walk, play with a pet, laugh, listen to some music. These things will make a huge impact on your life if you let them.
What happens when you have tried these things and you still feel like you aren't getting anywhere? Every person is unique and different, with their own problems, so it's important to know your limits. If you feel like you have done all you can then seek out the guidance of others. Doctors, religious leaders and even a caring friend might have some additional insight that could help you work through your problems. It is hard not to be stubborn and continue to believe you can do it all on your own.
When you have expended all your healthy coping strategies, its time to enlist the help of others. About mid summer I started experiencing moderate anxiety. I wasn't sleeping and I would get anxiety attacks at the oddest times. At first I started journaling, then I started going to yoga, but after a while those things no longer worked. I noticed I would get a very short temper with my daughter and I felt like I was yelling at her all the time. I was exhausted and felt very frustrated. So I finally sought out the help of my bishop and doctor. Both gave me great advice and I decided to start taking an anti-anxiety pill. At first I didn't want to because I was worried about the stigma or opinions of others, I was also very hard on myself, thinking that I was weak or broken. But once my stress levels went down and I was finally sleeping again, I realized just how important it was for me to manage my anxiety. After only 6 months I have been able to come off my medication and still feel like myself. I feel stronger than ever and more confident that I can handle things that come my way. I also learned when enough is enough and it's time to get help beyond myself. As stubborn as I am this has always been a challenge, but I now know how important it is to seek out help from others.
Another key thing to learn is that your spiritual health is just as important as your physical health. When you are stuck in a rut, one of the best things you can do for yourself is improve your spiritual health. Finding ways to be inspired and moved on a deep emotional level can allow you to explore your inner thoughts and feelings as well as help you align your priorities. When we start looking beyond our current state and start viewing our potential this gives us hope and motivation for the future. I have spent a great deal of time over the past year and a half improving my spiritual health. Spirituality is entirely personal and is a great way to discover who you are without the influence of others. Try not to get hung up on "everything you are doing wrong" We all make mistakes and every time you choose God, or self improvement then you are achieving your goals in your spiritual life. Our Creator had intention when creating us and it is with that in mind that we must see our value. Each month I have set 1 small goal for myself, kept a journal of it and reflected upon what I learned. Through this journey I have found more happiness, I have improved my interpersonal relationships, I have forgiven more and felt and ease to my burdens. I believe it is this strength that guided me through the summer and allowed me to glean new insight after the fact. make your spiritual health a priority and if you have an open heart you will feel lifted out of the rut.
All this being said, I still have a few ruts from time to time but I feel like I am living my life on a happier sphere. I look out into the world and I see opportunities rather than challenges. I see wonderful people who are just trying to do the best they can like everyone else. I feel like if everyone could just stop for one second and realize that we have no idea what is going on in the lives of those around us, that we could overcome all of our differences. Each person is going through different struggles, and we have no idea if they have just lost a loved one, lost a job, been struggling with an emotional challenge or addiction. So many people have financial troubles and family problems, if we just stop and realize then maybe we could all be a little more understanding. I feel like I have the ability to see the potential in people, their goodness rather than their ills. I have found great peace through the process of forgiveness; both forgiving others and myself as well as being forgiven. While my physical health isn't quite where I want it to be, I have a new determination to get physically healthy. I sleep better, and have more patience with my family. I am better able to balance my two careers, family, and other obligations. It is far easier now to get myself out of those ruts so I'm not stuck so long and I know that if I continue to utilize these things it can only get better.
Be grateful for what you have not disappointed for what you don't have. Don't blame others or use bad circumstances as an excuse. Choose to be happy, choose to improve yourself and choose to eliminate negativity from your life. It's not easy and it won't happen overnight but it will be worth it.
We've all been stuck in a rut from time to time and I remember various stages of my life that felt like I was not progressing. Looking back I think that part of the reason I got stuck is because I lost my perspective, lost my drive or motivation, or I allowed negative things to pull me down. Having too much negative energy in your life is extremely destructive and it took me a great deal of time to learn how to eliminate that negativity.
The first thing I had to do was stop taking things so personal. So often we get offended by others around us, but usually there is no good reason to be offended. It's just our excuse to be mad about something. Letting things roll off your back is a tough but important lesson. Try telling yourself that you don't need negativity in your life and try to see the good in those around you. Not everything is a personal attack and when we take offense to something it only hurts us. Of course stand up for yourself if someone is intentionally hurting you, but don't play on their field.
Another important thing I had to do was stop assuming. Often we get upset over things that never even occurred simply because we assume. I had the opportunity to listen to a great speaker earlier this year Marc Elliot, author of "What Makes You Tic?" And he said, "Live and let live" Live your life and let others live theirs, and stop judging yourself based on what you assume others are thinking. Or rather as my husband says, make the best choice you can based on the information you have at the moment. Additionally, don't dwell on the past because we can only affect the present and future. Don't cling to things that bring you down or that don't have any real significance in your life.
There are many reasons we might get in a rut, career, family, friends, finances etc. But they all lead to the core problem stress. Stress is a huge factor in our poor health and all of these things can become major stressors in our lives if we don't find and use healthy coping strategies. I find that so many people I know, don't know what healthy coping strategies are, and for a long time, I didn't either. Some of the best things your can do are sometimes the simplest. Things like eating healthy and getting enough sleep are key to keeping your physical body at its maximum stress fighting potential. Another super important one is learn to say "no". This was also a hard lesson for me to learn but I am so glad I did. You can't do everything. No seriously...I know you are thinking that you HAVE to do everything or it won't get done, but trust me saying no to even just a few things will actually allow you to prioritize and have a better grasp on things so that you can be even more effective.
Other great coping strategies include, yoga, meditation, massage or even just taking a hot bath. Things that relax our physical body will also relax our minds. It's important that you focus on the whole person and not just one part. Surround yourself with people you enjoy and avoid people who make you feel stressed out. De-clutter your home and turn off your TV and electronics when you feel overwhelmed. Express your feelings, either to a trusted friend or confidante or on paper in a journal or blog. Journaling is a fantastic way to track your progress and really get your thoughts out without being interrupted.
Adjusting your perspective and viewing the big picture is a great way to re-frame. Focus on the positive and set realistic goals for yourself. So often people are consumed by perfection. Don't set yourself up for failure by setting unrealistic goals. If you have lofty goals break them down in to smaller more achievable goals so that you can see your progress along the way.
There are so many great ways to unwind and focus but you have to make it a priority. Choose to come out of your rut and choose to improve your well being. Take just 2 minutes each day to de stress. Go for a walk, play with a pet, laugh, listen to some music. These things will make a huge impact on your life if you let them.
What happens when you have tried these things and you still feel like you aren't getting anywhere? Every person is unique and different, with their own problems, so it's important to know your limits. If you feel like you have done all you can then seek out the guidance of others. Doctors, religious leaders and even a caring friend might have some additional insight that could help you work through your problems. It is hard not to be stubborn and continue to believe you can do it all on your own.
When you have expended all your healthy coping strategies, its time to enlist the help of others. About mid summer I started experiencing moderate anxiety. I wasn't sleeping and I would get anxiety attacks at the oddest times. At first I started journaling, then I started going to yoga, but after a while those things no longer worked. I noticed I would get a very short temper with my daughter and I felt like I was yelling at her all the time. I was exhausted and felt very frustrated. So I finally sought out the help of my bishop and doctor. Both gave me great advice and I decided to start taking an anti-anxiety pill. At first I didn't want to because I was worried about the stigma or opinions of others, I was also very hard on myself, thinking that I was weak or broken. But once my stress levels went down and I was finally sleeping again, I realized just how important it was for me to manage my anxiety. After only 6 months I have been able to come off my medication and still feel like myself. I feel stronger than ever and more confident that I can handle things that come my way. I also learned when enough is enough and it's time to get help beyond myself. As stubborn as I am this has always been a challenge, but I now know how important it is to seek out help from others.
Another key thing to learn is that your spiritual health is just as important as your physical health. When you are stuck in a rut, one of the best things you can do for yourself is improve your spiritual health. Finding ways to be inspired and moved on a deep emotional level can allow you to explore your inner thoughts and feelings as well as help you align your priorities. When we start looking beyond our current state and start viewing our potential this gives us hope and motivation for the future. I have spent a great deal of time over the past year and a half improving my spiritual health. Spirituality is entirely personal and is a great way to discover who you are without the influence of others. Try not to get hung up on "everything you are doing wrong" We all make mistakes and every time you choose God, or self improvement then you are achieving your goals in your spiritual life. Our Creator had intention when creating us and it is with that in mind that we must see our value. Each month I have set 1 small goal for myself, kept a journal of it and reflected upon what I learned. Through this journey I have found more happiness, I have improved my interpersonal relationships, I have forgiven more and felt and ease to my burdens. I believe it is this strength that guided me through the summer and allowed me to glean new insight after the fact. make your spiritual health a priority and if you have an open heart you will feel lifted out of the rut.
All this being said, I still have a few ruts from time to time but I feel like I am living my life on a happier sphere. I look out into the world and I see opportunities rather than challenges. I see wonderful people who are just trying to do the best they can like everyone else. I feel like if everyone could just stop for one second and realize that we have no idea what is going on in the lives of those around us, that we could overcome all of our differences. Each person is going through different struggles, and we have no idea if they have just lost a loved one, lost a job, been struggling with an emotional challenge or addiction. So many people have financial troubles and family problems, if we just stop and realize then maybe we could all be a little more understanding. I feel like I have the ability to see the potential in people, their goodness rather than their ills. I have found great peace through the process of forgiveness; both forgiving others and myself as well as being forgiven. While my physical health isn't quite where I want it to be, I have a new determination to get physically healthy. I sleep better, and have more patience with my family. I am better able to balance my two careers, family, and other obligations. It is far easier now to get myself out of those ruts so I'm not stuck so long and I know that if I continue to utilize these things it can only get better.
Be grateful for what you have not disappointed for what you don't have. Don't blame others or use bad circumstances as an excuse. Choose to be happy, choose to improve yourself and choose to eliminate negativity from your life. It's not easy and it won't happen overnight but it will be worth it.
