Little by little.

I hate change. But c'est la vie; sometimes life throws you interesting challenges and you have to suck it up. Teaching has been my passion for the past five years and a dream since I was in the second grade. Unfortunately dreams aren't always as idealistic as when you are seven. Education, as many of you know, has taken an interesting direction as of late. Not one that I am totally opposed to but there are certainly many things that I wish were different. The biggest problem for me is this attitudinal barrier that teachers are little more than babysitters with no worthwhile skills nor contributions to society.
This, along with a great deal of student apathy, has led me to consider some changes of my own. As a recent graduate from The College of Massage Therapy I have a whole new set of tools I can use to help people. With this in mind, as well as my unbelievable organizational abilities and efficiency, have made me wonder if my path should go a different way for a while.
What is it that people often say? There aren't any regrets only what ifs? I'm not sure if that is the exact quote or not but it's an interesting thought.

What if I stayed in teaching and what if I started doing massage full time?
If I stay in teaching there is little to no financial growth in my current position as an educator. The state and school district continues to reduce benefits and kids are increasingly apathetic toward their education. On a personal and professional level I feel there are still many ways I can grow and learn but is that outweighed by the need to be recognized for excelling in my current skills or the need to adequately provide for my family.

A lot of people stay in education because they LOVE teaching. I love teaching too. I hate to sound greedy, but I went to college and got a degree so I could pursue a job that would allow me to grow both professionally and financially. I never expected to be "Rich" as a teacher, but I thought it wasn't far reaching to expect to be able to buy a house and pay my bills.

After college I thought the days of living paycheck to paycheck were over. I always laugh when people talk to me about buying a house, as if we actually have money in our savings account.

I've recently been conducting a little study of my own to ask my colleagues why they teach or why they stay. The majority of them have spouses who work full time and make $60-$100K a year. So my colleagues can "afford" to teach.

This saddens me. So I contemplate daily, what life changes I can make to achieve financial security.


So on a positive note, change can be motivating.  And blessings can be answered.

Regardless of what I decide to do, my massage therapy business has been thriving. I am constantly getting new clients and helping others that want to be helped. This can really fill up your "bucket". :)

Other changes can help you get your life back into perspective. The past few years have been a crazy whirlwind of insanity. I've been going at 150 miles per hour every day for as long as I can remember. I've missed out on a lot with my family and it has really come to the forefront more recently. So I made a few changes in my schedule. Started saying no more often and continue to trim down all that I do and I realized very quickly how important that family time really is. The next few months appear pretty busy, so in order to  maintain my family time I need to make sure I keep that in perspective.

Taking time for myself has been a work in progress but one that has shown me how important it really is. Creating a balanced life is a truly healthy and invigorating experience. I have found that when I take time for myself, I have more energy and patience to focus on my other duties, so I do them better and more fully.

This past year  has been an interesting journey, one with some fascinating lessons and many wonderful experiences. So looking back I hope that I can make the best choice that will lead me to optimum outcome. But isn't that what we are always hoping for?

Sick and Tired....

Being sick fails, but being sick when you are a super workaholic, perfectionist, always have thirty things going on simultaneously, is even worse. But let me back up.

On October 4th I graduated from the Massage Therapy program from The College of Massage Therapy at Bingham Memorial Hospital. It was a year long program that, not only taught me a lot about massage therapy, but also a lot about business and working with others. The end of a program is always bittersweet. Of course it is exciting to be finished but it's a little sad to say goodbye to the people you've just spent the last year with. It also brings a sort of senioritis that caused us to act a little immature from time to time. Regardless, I made it, and surprisingly one of my final classes really spoke to me. My last few weeks of class really diversified my education and made me realize that people can be healed using many kinds of therapy. This was a very important lesson to learn and I think it was a great lesson to have right before opening my own practice.

Upon completion of my program I started my own massage therapy practice. This has been an exciting and scary endeavor. I truly want to help people while also maintaining my family time and grow as a professional. Massage therapy has given me so many new tools to use to develop my potential. In order to celebrate this new path I recently hosted a grand opening. Who knew I was so determined?

I woke up very early on Saturday to terrible nausea. Dinner is never good when it comes back out. Thankfully, with some help, I was able to make it to my office. Certain it was just a small case of food poisoning, I was determined to push through to make a good impression on all my potential clients. We had a great time and I really enjoyed spending time with those who attended. A huge thanks to all those that came out to support me. I am looking forward to great success in the massage therapy business.

Now that I'm finished with my schooling I thought things would get less stressful. Unfortunately I'm not sure I know how to live without stress. My debate team is doing very well this year as we prepare for the first tournament. My captains are working hard and I am proud of the progress they have made thus far. As always though, I have a lot on my plate. Between planning a debate leadership retreat, assisting in running a conference, planning a Spa day for my clients and trying to manage my finances and spend time with my family, those little things just add up to one gigantic pile of stress. Top that off with a little worry about my students struggling at home, in life and at school makes for long nights when my mind just doesn't shut off. Toss in a few family issues or a sick friend. Then stir in a bit of bad salad...this is a dangerous recipe. One not without side effects.

I've never struggled with my sleep habits and lately I have been experiencing a bout of insomnia. I try to go to bed at the same time but my mind just won't shut off. Then I wake at unbelievable hours and can't go back to sleep. This has also affected my eating habits. I've never been one to skip a meal and now I find I have no appetite and the things I do eat just aren't appealing to me. Perhaps the one up-side is that I might loose a few pounds but that's unlikely. I don't think it is ever a good thing when your sleep pattern is disrupted and this is highly unusual for me. 

I've never been one to take a lot of medications so the search for insomnia treatments is a bit bumpy. I took a hot bath the other night, tried some light reading, listened to relaxing music, then a book on my ipod last night, but I am still struggling. Last night I decided to take some magnesium which my chiropractor tells me is a natural muscle relaxer and some melatonin that is supposed to induce sleep. I'm not sure if it helped much, I had very weird dreams and it felt more like that crappy sleep when you aren't awake enough to really be coherent but you aren't asleep enough to be relaxed and getting rest. I anticipated that at some point I would hit a wall and feel extremely tired but so far that hasn't happened.

As a result of not sleeping well, I now have a pretty awesome headache. This comes along with a pinched nerve in my neck and a future appointment at the chiropractor. 

So these are some of the things I'm doing in spite of the insomnia and in order to create a more balanced life.  I'm constantly trying to maintain my goal of positivity this year. Toward my work, toward my students, but especially toward education. I'm trying to say 'no' more, so that I can increase the quality of my work not just the quantity. I'm trying to be more patient with my family and say more positive and loving things to them. And I'm trying to take a little time for myself. 

I care about my students, I want to be the best I can be at all the things I do, and I want to help others. Additionally, I want to provide for my family and create an environment that ensures our financial stability. I want to have fun and grow as an individual and professional. I don't want to hit a dead end in my career, health or otherwise. I hope that over the next few weeks I can get a grip of all the things on my plate and overcome this little bump.