So I've been making a lot of healthy decisions lately. I think part of finding Joy is finding a way to be balanced and healthy. This whole process has changed my perspective but even more so it has changed my behavior. I have always wanted to be more healthy and balanced but wanting it is much different than actually making it happen. Learning more from my massage therapy classes is helping me see a bigger perspective. Eating healthier is a big part of my problem. I don't know if other people have the same problem but I am totally addicted to sugar, carbs and cheese! YUM! Although I'm not so extreme to say everyone needs to start growing their own produce or only buying organic; there is something to be said for eating less processed foods. And while the chances of me ever becoming a vegetarian are about as good as "hell freezing over" I certainly wouldn't be hurt by integrating a few more veggies into my diet.
I decided a few weeks ago to cut down, almost entirely on soda. The last time I stopped drinking soda I lost about 12 pounds! And I need to loose a few more than that. I also decided to try to eat smaller portions and not eat so many sweets. As much as I love my snacks and cookies I think they are really contributing to my inability to get in shape. I also started jogging. For me, this is like climbing Mt. Everest. Anyone who has ever known me, knows that in my opinion, running is the worst activity on the planet. I hate exercise in general, not getting up and moving, but the systematic patterns of movements that some people long ago decided were "good for you". When I was younger I did dance. I did approximately 6 hours of dance a week. Plus I practiced on my own free time and I also moved around a lot at home. My sisters and I would run around our property until it was way past time to come in and during the summer I played softball. Well I tried to play softball. I think I was the worst player and I think our team was second to last in our league. We were so bad we couldn't even win at Failing. hehe. Needless to say I got a lot more "exercise" when I was younger.
After having Rachel I was disappointed that the stereotype was true, about your body going to hell after you have kids. I watch those commercials for Slimquick where the guy starts drinking diet soda for a few weeks and the female says she's been drinking water for a year and he shrinks down to be really thin and she just looses a bit where she doesn't want to...yeah I relate to that. I've tried a few diet fads and they just suck. I just get hungry and then it all goes to crap. So I decided that that just isn't for me. I can't starve myself or cut the foods I love out of my diet. Plus, as many of you know, my husband cooks for me and he makes the BEST food. None of those diets will let me eat anything he cooks so I kept setting myself up for failure. I also HATE cooking so making separate meals for myself is also not an option. Adding more protein and eating smaller portions is where I'm starting. It may only be a baby step, but if it is something I can do consistently then maybe it can help me change my eating habits. Cutting out my Doritos and Coke probably won't hurt either.
More recently, I decided I was going to start the jogging thing. I saw the pictures we took on our trip to Italy and Greece (yeah I know, you all hate me and are super jealous. All I can say is, it was awesome and you just need to go. Find a way to go to the places you've always wanted to go. I will talk more about this later.) I was horrified at what I saw. I realize that for most of you, you are probably thinking, "wow Melissa, you are dumb you don't need to loose any weight blah blah blah" I appreciate your kind words and thoughts but we all have body image issues and while I don't want to be anorexic, I also don't want to be a size 12. I'd like to tone up my tummy as all moms, I think, do. I'd like to get some muscle tone back and be able to jog the length of the driveway at my apartment complex without getting winded. I want to have more energy so I can keep up with my beautiful daughter and I want to have a healthy self image. I love myself, I do, but I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be more healthy and fit. I want to feel like the Rock Star I know I am, when I get dressed EVERY day, not just on days I put in a ton of extra effort. I want to have more confidence and part of that is working on those little areas that need some improvement.
I know I'll never be 19 again, but why should I settle and choose not to do anything because someone once said we should "love ourselves" and delusional people interpreted that as inaction. I do love myself and that's exactly why I am doing this. I also love my family and I want to be as healthy as I can so I can do all the things I love.
I was reading in my textbook "Staying Healthy With the Seasons" (you should check it out) its my book for Asian Theory and I have learned a lot about finding balance and being healthier. Ancient Chinese medicine may not be for everyone, I'm not even sure it's for me, but a lot of what I'm reading makes sense. "Moderation in all things, including moderation." sometimes you just have to go to your limits. This affirms my own religious beliefs as well. Eating healthy means paying more attention to what we put into our body for nourishment. Sometimes we forget that nourishment is the purpose for the food we eat. How many of us (totally me) eat because we are stressed, bored, lonely, upset. I've learned that we need to be more calm when we eat. How often do I eat on the run and then either feel like crap afterward or still feel hungry? Being in Europe taught me a good lesson, slow down. For some reason in America and probably elsewhere- we are just going 100 miles per hour 24-7 and this causes a great deal of mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical problems.
This is why I decided to make some healthy changes. I am always looking for ways to grow and learn and become the person I want to be and I hope that I can keep it up. Today is just day 2 of the jogging thing, but I was pretty proud of myself when I jogged further than yesterday and did so with fewer breaks. I feel like I have more energy and getting up early is very peaceful. The sunrise this morning inspired me to keep getting up, plus I don't think anyone should jog in the summer after 6am, because it is freakin hot. :) I am also doing some P90X Yoga and some sit-ups too.
If you are feeling run down or out of shape and you want to make some changes but aren't sure how, just pick one little baby step and see how it goes. Have faith in yourself and keep your end goal in mind. In other words, find your happy thought! I will keep you posted as to how this new workout regimen goes. In the next month or so I want to add some meditation and who knows what else. All I know is that for the moment I'm pretty happy.
